February 5, 2012
lickypickystickyfree: A few:  If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour. Always toast before doing a shot.  Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast. Change your toast at least once a month.  Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.  Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.  Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He’ll get the message. Always have a corkscrew in your house.  If you don’t have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.  It’s okay to drink alone.  If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English. Screaming, “Someone buy me a drink!” has never worked.  If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious. Rules are made to be broken. Bottoms up! My favorite:   If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.

lickypickystickyfree:

A few:

  •  If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.
  • Always toast before doing a shot.
  •  Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.
  • Change your toast at least once a month.
  •  Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.
  •  Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
  •  Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.
  • If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He’ll get the message.
  • Always have a corkscrew in your house.
  •  If you don’t have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.
  •  It’s okay to drink alone.
  •  If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
  • Screaming, “Someone buy me a drink!” has never worked.
  •  If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.
  • If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.
  • Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious.
  • Rules are made to be broken.
  • Bottoms up!

My favorite:   If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.

(via lickystickypickywe)

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